From my heart.

I want you to know some things. You are worth it so worth it. You are beautiful, you are strong, you are kind, loving and important. You matter. You matter to me, to your family, to your friends. So don’t give up. Selfishly I’m posting this for myself just as much as I am for you, but I guessing that’s okay. I want you to know you deserve to be someone’s first choice, not their second and not their third.

It’s so tough to hear what everyone keeps telling me. What I wrote above pretty much sums it up. Just sprinkle in a few ‘you’re better than he is’ and ‘you can do better'(s) in there and you’ve got the soundtrack of my life for the past two days. I’m trying so hard to believe it but I’m broken. Unbelievably broken. It reminds me of this song I used to listen to that holds so much truth, Gotye’s ‘Somebody I Used to Know.’ ((below for your auditory pleasure))

I’m trying so hard to make it through this post but as the tears flow freely down my cheeks and my head gets light I’m reminded of the sobering fact that I am weak and I am broken. No matter how hard I fight it I’m so angry and so hurt I can’t keep food down let alone water. I got woozy at work and passed out probably from dehydration. But if I know one thing the sun is going to come up tomorrow and it’s beautiful rays are going to help wash this pain away. This pit I’m in isn’t forever, it’s not permanent. God did not make me to be lonely, he made me to be happy and fulfilled. He made me to be strong. He made me in his image.

So I may not feel it tonight, probably not tomorrow but soon and once I’m past this… I’ll be that much stronger. Until then I just keep telling myself, “Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.”

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