Those are lyrics from one of my most favorite Anberlin songs, Alexhithmia.
Get ready for another confession: I’ve always wanted to be further than where I am. When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to be done and in college. When I was in college I just wanted to graduate and be out in the work world and now that I am all I want is to find the guy I’m supposed to spend my life with and get started. I have almost everything I want except the one thing my heart is begging for, someone to share this amazing life with.
Okay, I’ll come out and say it… I don’t drink, at all. It’s a personal choice and I don’t hold it against people if they do. But because I don’t frequent bars or work with people close to my age I’ve noticed my options for making friends are limited and I’ve started to rely on the Internet. Probably too much because it’s not working.
Many, well MOST, of my friends are getting engaged, married or having babies. The ones that aren’t are in serious long term relationships and I’m here. Alone. No boyfriend, no promising dates at least both this week, and no one to come home to.
I love my job like LOVE my job but here’s the thing… It’s not full time. Which means in between shows I suppliment with substitute teaching. The plus side is im able to save all of my festival money the downside is working with small children is not something I want to do.
I do well for myself. My bills are always paid, I have money “left over” and I have a healthy savings account and no debt, at all. So, you’re probably shaking your head wondering what I have to complain about. Well… I could always be better prepared. I see my friends able to go on trips and visit exotic places and I realize that isn’t in the cards for me right now. That’s when my mom’s perfect sense of timing comes along and she says to me, “sweetheart all of these friends traveling have a second income, they have someone else helping to pay the bills, helping to buy the groceries, and you’re just you. One income, that’s all.” In some ways it makes me feel better in others it makes me feel worse.
But each day I wake up and I commit myself to being happy and loving myself right where im at. So just remember to “good things come to those who wait.”